Thursday, March 27, 2008 @ 8:24 pm
let it all out
I'm really confused, frustrated, exasperated.
Like WTF WHY?!?!
Why is it that whatever shit I say, I will get suaned by you?
Why is it that you enjoy smacking me?
Why is it that you can't seem to understand?
There will be this time where you really crossed the line. Gone too far.
Smacking me is fine if it's just for fun. But at least say sorry when you realised it bloody hurt.
That I can put up with.
What I don't get is,
whatever I say,
insults come right back at me from you.
I mean,
I don't crap shit all the time.
At times, I'm just maybe trying to be funny to cheer people up and blah.
or some hoped-to-be constructibe comments.
And all fantastically squashed into pulp.
Didn't you realise,
even though it's just fun and joking and blah,
Certain words definitely do NOT sound like a joke.
More directly insulting.
Besides,
Non-hurtin' comments tend to pile up into a huge painful... thing.
Negative impact.
It's like a piece of cloth,
nice and new,
being poked by this "blunt" knife.
After awhile holes will start to appear.
And after an even longer time,
That nice new piece of cloth turns into a rag.
Dead and useless.
My thoughts and feedback and suggestions and blah
when I'm in a conversation with you.
Well, normally it's mainly a conversation between you and other friends since I'm never heard anyways.
Sometimes you hang around with your friends I don't really know.
So I'll end up either floating there awkwardly or float off to find people whom I can relate to.
Ah well that happens to everyone so I don't have complaints.
It's just that I hope I could be treated with just that tiny bit of respect, and not like something which has no feelings or feelings that one couldn't be bothered to care about, like a toy or a robot.
Or a trash can.
And also that I would like you to understand that this is not because of one incident.
It's a collection of pent-up feelings since quite a long time ago regarding this.
It's probably because of the added stress I have recently that I just can't stand it any longer than I would have without the stress.
I thought I could just take it all in and not explode because of taking in too much all of above mentioned stuffs.
Like... a balloon.
Too much air pumped into it and it pops.
Something like that.
Just to let you know.
Just that I'm letting it all out now.
No hard feelings.
And I am trying not to speak to you not because I'm like super angry with you or anything.
Just that I'm trying to prevent myself from exploding... into a huger explosion, due to more and more of the above mentioned stuffs being taken in.
Er...
Like the bursting of animal cells.
Too much water taken in.
Uhm.
Still friends. (?)
Signed,
dRe-jo
-insert complicated signature-
